she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
