Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize