Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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