I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
