I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
