i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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