Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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