normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
