i don't like sucking hair
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
