Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
