Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize