I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
