Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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