Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
