Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
