i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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