Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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