You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
