I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
