no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
