I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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