Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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