The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
