I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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