Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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