So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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