Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
