nut hugger
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
