never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
