I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
