honey bunches of taint.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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