we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
