she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
