Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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