OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
