Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
