he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My dick has a subreddit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
