I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
