You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
