I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
