I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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