8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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