I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize