I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
