she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The adults are the big ones right?
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