I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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