i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
