i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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