oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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