take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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