Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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