I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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