He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
