I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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