you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
