I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
