and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize