I puked a lego.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
