thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
