omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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