i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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