Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Randomize
