Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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