ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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