You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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