There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sorry about my life...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
